What is essential is invisible to the eye...

One of Albert Einstein’s most renowned quotes is “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.” We often consider the crux this statement. We look to outside behavior. Most of us have at least one area of our lives that we are consistently working to change but think about it; our lives are filled with constant moments where we are in essence doing the same thing over and over. We entertain the same thoughts and perceptions about the world, most importunely about ourselves. We even vigorously defend them. We often ignore the voice of our hearts for other more “sensible” pursuits. We strategize, make plans, heading off in directions that we know, where we are comfortable. We do the same things again and again.

One of the many beautiful things the ongoing study of astrology has not only taught me but proven to me again and again is that everything is connected. Everything. We and the conscious aware universe are woven together or as the ancient Greek astrologer and philosopher Plotinus said, “Everything breathes together.” The universe actually is responsive and cares about our soul’s unfolding, even when we are having trouble listening. 

This Uranus/North Node transit is an “invitation,” sort of a velvet gloved demand, to be willing to enter the realm of the uncomfortable: The realm of the unknown. To awaken in whichever area of our lives it is moving through and perceive what we couldn’t before. 

As I said in an earlier blog, this transit falls directly on a very sensitive point in my own chart. Both my Moon, our sense of home and belonging as well as habitual (unconscious) behavior and my Mercury, my conscious perception of myself and the world are being “awakened” through a bolt of Uranian lightning. 

Last Sunday, as many of you who are friends with me on Facebook know, on my morning hike (which, seriously, is really a walk through the forest nothing intense) I took one slightly off step and felt first a pull and then a pop and for the foreseeable future no more morning hikes for me. I have been grounded. 

From my perspective, after much essential contemplation and deep listening, I’m admit I am being told by the universe to take a moment and be still. If we believe there are signs all around us the universe had been nudging me to slow down for months. For heavens sake I went zip-lining across the Costa Rican jungle and I never could figure out how to brake, how to slow down. And it seriously wasn’t very complicated, I just had a problem doing it. 

I have never been good at slowing down. In fact busy has been my go to behavior. Some people drink, I get involved in things. On some strange level it makes me feel more in control and safe. Somehow there is a sense of belonging in this behavior. When my father passed I acted in five back to back plays. Five. I was actually stage managing and acting in one while rehearsing the next…and I rehearsed for two more while acting in that show and from there I moved onto another. I also moved home to help my mother who at the time didn’t even have a driver’s license. This pattern has continued throughout my life. Even as I have in nudged to just take a good moment just to get my bearings past few months after my mom’s passing, I kept saying to myself “Just finish this next thing (insert blank)and then you can slow for a bit.” Because you see for me no amount of getting it done is ever enough. 

In a nutshell this week it gradually dawned on me that when I don’t slow down and take the time to listen to my heart without discounting it I am in essence saying it doesn’t matter. Which brings me to my favorite quote from Carl Jung “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” 

In my case the two planets being activated by this transit profoundly fall in the arena of unconscious past conditioning. I was most rewarded for performing as a child. Praise and love were showered upon me when I achieved. It was how I stayed relevant. And that’s not a bad thing but if achievement is home and sense of belonging (Moon) relearning how to simply relax is complicated because you see for me no amount of getting it done is ever enough because it is an inner world issue. At its core it is about how I habitually treat myself. It is where, ironically through positive reinforcement, I lack a knowledge in this area of how to care for myself. 

For now the experience of a torn anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) has somewhat painfully woken me up. I always somewhat wrying say to clients there are basically two ways to go about transits you can either lean in or be dragged into he future like a screaming toddler. This time I feel like I am somewhere between the two - maybe a smart ass teenager? I really was trying to listen and frankly a torn ACL while uncomfortable isn’t that bad of a wake-up call. 

So, I now have both a new awareness and a new practice that I am nurturing. That I am letting unfold because it is new territory and we are not supposed to be familiar with new territory, in fact the familiar and comfortable (Moon and Mercury)won’t serve me here. That truly is the challenge with the new, its essential unfamiliarity. It means trusting the moment and taking the next small step. I repeat this is an inside job. 

Here is how to use this for yourself, ideally without the mishap of a torn ACL

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, the Little Prince 

What areas of life do you do the same thing again and again? There will be both obvious and more subtle answers to this question. The more subtle ones are where the gold lies. They are the deeply imbedded ways of being. The habitual ways of moving through your world that remain invisible to the eye. Here is the big clue; they are also the places that you will most vigorously justify and defend. Particularly to yourself, for you also most likely have been rewarded for them in the past. Or perhaps they are mechanisms you developed when you were very young to defend yourself from feeling uncomfortable emotions. 

Try the following exercise: 

Find a place you can sit in a comfortable position and take a moment to gather yourself. Allow you attention to settle upon your breath. Take several deep breaths inhaling to a slow count of four, holding your breath for a count of four, exhaling through your mouth for a count of four, pausing for another count of four before you inhale to a count of four. Continue this until you feel and embodied sense of stillness. From this place of stillness focus your attention on your heart. This is your inner sanctum. Consciously send it golden light and warmth. Feel gratitude towards it. When you viscerally feel it relaxing and opening ask it what it yearns for, deeply listening and being receptive to its response. Just remain open and receptive. Welcome it. Just be with it, accept it without question. Be still and listen. Then expand the golden light and slowly bring yourself back to normal awareness.

Now journal asking yourself what gets in the way of request from your heart. What are the obstacles? If you are having trouble seeing what unconscious behavior, what pattern you keep reenacting this is where it will show up. It will arise disguised within your reasonableness. All of the logical assertions that you feel are the necessary response to your heart’s request. 

After you have worked through this come up with one tiny daily practice you could take that would help nourish your heart’s desire. For example I am not taking several five minute periods of absolute stillness throughout the day to help my system slow and relax. For that precious five minute period I stop what ever I am doing and simply sit breathing deeply and being with the present moment. I have been doing this for a mere three days and already the rewards have been tremendous. To help me remember to do this I set reminders on my phone that ding like a meditation bell about two hours apart throughout the day.