Living the luminous pause

Carl Jung remarkably mused “Life is a luminous pause between two mysteries that are yet one.” Conceptually this is stunningly beautiful to me. One of the more profound things about aging is that, for the most of us, it is only through the passage of time that we viscerally realize the actual brevity of our lives. For me this has provided both a sense of clarity and perspective, and if I am to be honest this is accompanied by a sense of urgency that I am deeply grateful to be experiencing. Particularly after the experience of caring for my mother in the last two years of her life before she passed. She was only 30 years older than I am and much to my shock thirty years pass in the blink of an eye.  I don't have the option of placing what I yearn for on the back burner of my life. There is a lot of power in that.

Astrology, which easily might be called the art of the circle, shows that growth is not straightforward, but processed through symbol in cyclical curves, repeating smaller, easier-to-grasp cycles within the greater cycles of our lives. It is not so much circular as it is a spiral reaching forward and back.  

As I have noted before the astrological “weather” (Anyone with placements in the middle of the fixed signs, in their natal or progressed charts, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius are being more directly affected) is a little turbulent currently. I keep seeing posts on social media basically asking “Is it just me or have others been…?” Or “Is Mercury retrograde?” Which is often the catch all for astrological turbulence because nearly everyone is fairly familiar with it. And yes, Mercury is getting ready to retrograde but this particular weather pattern is part of a much more significant period of change both collectively and personally. 

Think of it this way: Mercury zips through all of the sign in a little less than a year versus the larger current astrological alignment of the nodes, Saturn and Uranus in fixed signs to which everyone is responding: The transiting node is a 18.5 year cycle, Saturn a 29.5 year cycle and Uranus an 84 year cycle. The difference between all of them is marked by time. Each month the Moon moves through all of the signs lighting up each part of your chart. It might trigger an event. But Uranus? When it reaches something personally significant it hovers at that point for about 1.5 years ushering in a far more profound awareness and resulting change. A longer transit reveals both a larger pattern and is a longer process.

In many ways astrology essentially is all about the order of soul. As I shared last month, from astrology’s perspective, your soul chose the timing of your development, your life’s unfolding when it chose the moment you drew your first breath. That you, your natal chart, was created from a precise intentionality. Everything is connected and you are connected to all.

We are often so funny about change. We forget that connection we have to everything. When we speak about change it is often the new lover we desire, the changes our partners need to make, the career changes we hope for, all of the things we dream of and yearn for but that are not yet within our grasp. How will we manifest it? We forget we, our evolving selves, are the seed of all of it.  

I think I have shared the story before of having changed basically everything in my life externally. I moved from Sedona to Los Angeles shortly after turning 40, got a corporate job and one Sunday about six months later found myself driving along Venture Blvd captured by the same thought that I had been revisiting for the past couple of years. When is my life going to change? 

True change gestates within our internal world. As I changed my relationship to myself, my outer world changed accordingly without any machinations on my own part. I know I did the work but it really just arose over time drawn to me in ways I couldn’t imagine. That’s what this currently planetary alignment is about at its core, the process of change. Larger transits, patterns, reveal over time the alchemical process of turning lead into gold. Alchemy is essentially, the philosophy of change and how that relates to our authentic selves. 

This turbulent weather hold a rainbow within, the promise of true change if we are willing to work with it.  Saturn and Uranus together are a dynamic duo. Uranus awakens us from past patterns, often created through trauma, to a larger perspective from which we can reinvent ourselves and then Saturn, if used correctly, helps us to make it real. To bring it into manifestation.

So I urge you to ask yourself ‘What patterns do I keep reliving?’ You know; you are still dating the same type of person essentially dressed in a different body, the boss from hell has left only to be replaced by their evil twin. You get this close to the deal of your dreams only to have it come unraveled at the last moment. The scenery may change but here we are again. Patterns. Melodies that we keep unconsciously dancing to the beat of throughout our lived experience.  

Take some time to journal and make a note of them and then get quiet and gently check in with yourself first noting how you feel. Don’t try to control or change the feeling, become curious, if anything deepen it. Then from this place ask yourself when did I first experience this feeling and follow the thread back to its origin. This is where it was seeded. Here lies the origin story, the meaning you gave (essentially what story you told yourself) this moment in your life about you and your life that is unresolved and needs a little bit of care and healing.  This is where you began to believe a story about you and your life and then reinforced it by continuously by trying to change the outside. You could have tried by losing a little weight, becoming more accomplished, pleasing those around you or even finally being able to buy the right car. This time around, in the moment you have traveled to in mediation (recommended)or simple contemplation let your wiser self take a moment to care for the younger you who desperately needed it in that moment. Tell them how beautiful they are, give them love, understanding, compassion, listen to them if they most likely need to be listened to without trying to change or fix them. This is really important. Trying to change or fix them implies that they were wrong or broken. It reinforces the core belief. Simply honor this part of yourself by witnessing them and let it take as long as it needs. You will actually feel it begin to relax. You may even find yourself being able to breathe more deeply in the moment. 

I promise that if you consistently practice honoring yourself this way, whether your younger self or current self ,all that manifesting you so desire will begin to happen in ways you can’t imagine.